Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
