Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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