Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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