no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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