After last night, I could never be a politician.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
