Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
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I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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