Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Randomize
