my computer doesn't work...
i puked on it last night
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots