dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Everything about him screamed your future.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.