That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
