ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
