In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
