I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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