no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
