So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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