CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
