I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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