he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I want to be your penis for a week.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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