She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
