piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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