if i can run in heels then i can drive
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Ladies don't puke and tell
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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