Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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