I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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