One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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