I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
