Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
