The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
