Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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