and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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