Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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