We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I can tuck mytits in my pants
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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