we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
