Already got asked if we're dating
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
