I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Just pee around me
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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