I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize