so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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