I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
