and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
