i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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