Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
