Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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