the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
