I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize