just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
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