I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
