How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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