Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Drake has all the answers
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
