you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
