Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I just want nice things and good sex
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
