i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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