I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
