Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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