Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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