Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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