dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
