Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(239): View more from Florida

Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?

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(940): View more from Texas

shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.

Fav 24 3283 1226
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.

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(979): View more from Texas

How sober do you have to be to donate blood?

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(503): View more from Oregon

we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.

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(805): View more from California

Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.

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(773): View more from Illinois

You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.

Fav 4 1819 766
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(813): View more from Florida

I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.

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