I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
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It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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