she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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