why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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