k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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