she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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