Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
It's rum buckets o'clock
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
