you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
