Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
you inspire me to be a worse person
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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